http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3buLQoCN6KY

I consider my life worth nothing to me,if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord has given me. Acts 20-24

 I feel like I have finally let the things and worries of this world go and really put my hope and faith in the Lord. I have really been asking God what he wants from me and where he wants me.

I thought God was starting to show me where He wanted me. I was so excited! God started using me in amazing ways…I could only give the glory to him. God really did know the desires of my heart. He was opening some powerful doors for me.

Well,I went to a friend and told them about it thinking that they would be excited for me and encouraging. At  the end of our conversation I was a little confused. I was told to just slow down and to stop trying to become Paul over night.

I’m not trying to be “Holy” or whatever. I’m just trying to follow God. I want to give every day of my life to the Lord. I never know when my time will be up so why waste time on myself?

It just made me realize that Satan can use anything. Imnot saying that this person was used by Satan…this is one of my closest friends and I know that they would never mean any harm. But Satan can use anything. The moment we receive anything from the Lord worth fighting for,the Devil comes seeking to destroy us.

Thats when we put our faith in the Lord. All I can do is continue to pray for the Lords will because its truly what I want. I know that the Lord will not forsaken me. The Devil is just trying to destroy me but I will not allow him to. He has no idea who he is messing with! I’m sure that Im a lot stronger than him…I know I am because I have the Lord. I just have to keep the faith!

Lately life has been nothing but one distraction after another. I hate that I get caught up in life and forget what I am really living for but the truth is we all do. I have been trying to please others,please myself and figure out what I want in life instead of what God really wants for my life. I have felt far from God at times and down right unsatisfied with life even if I get what I want.

Last night I was praying and I just asked God to show me what he wanted me to do.  I told him that I felt like I was sitting on a fence because I didnt know which path to take.

Today in church God really spoke to my heart. I realized that nothing and no one matters more than God. I realized how much I really needed him. I told God that it didnt matter if the path is hard and scary I will go anyways. I know that no matter what God will be with me and in the end it will all be worth it somehow.

I also gave God all my fears and worries. Lately I have really been having trouble with my heart and with my body. It has really brought me down and filled me with fear. But I know that no matter what God will take care of me all I need to do is trust him. Today I really had to ask God to forgive me for giving into fear and putting others before him. In a way I am glad that I did though because it really showed me how much I need God and how precious He is to me.

God puts us through things for a reason. He teaches us and helps us to grow. I am thankful for everything that I have been  through because I have learned so much from it. Its hard but all we need to do is fully trust and rely on God and we will get through it and be a better person after.  I am still going to struggle sometimes but I know that I will come around because I am a child of God and he will never give up or forsaken me. I am truly blessed to have a father named Jesus Christ.