Yaya geçidi

“Have you ever gone down a road, far down and wondered, maybe it wasn’t what you want?”

Does one ever really know what he or she wants? I have tried to embody a care free spirit. I want to take all the things in life that bring me stress and throw them into the wind. I want to prance around like a little nine year old girl and make things happen, just by smiling. I don’t think this is going to happen…

I am not lazy, and I’m not trying to rid my life of reality, I just don’t want to second guess myself. I’m tired of the pain of trying to hold on to life, because it’s waving goodbye before I am ready to leave the party.

This morning as I was getting ready for work and sipping my coffee, I started thinking about moving to Turkey next year. (It’s official) I asked myself how I was going to move away from the ones that I love and move to a place that I hope to love but somehow connect them both. I don’t want to sacrifice one life for another. The part of my personality that is stubborn won’t allow it. I will simply figure out how to make them work together and be friends…but how?

I asked myself how one becomes this nine year old but also perfects being in two places at once. (Yes, I think through and sometimes over think a lot)

There are many people that I love in this world but only few with pieces of my heart. I don’t mean this in a cheesy way but almost literal. Of course I can’t actually give them pieces of my heart. I am sure this would kill me and make a huge mess that I don’t really care to clean up. I mean it in the sense that these few people I will always come home to. Whether that be in London, Thailand, San Francisco, Turkey or South Carolina. My heart will always be drawn to the place that they dwell and it will always find them.

problem solved? Whose to know when it comes to life. I do know one thing though…the ones who carry those pieces will always be very special to me and I always apart of my life.

I am ready for this advanture. When I think about it my care free nine year old girl comes out and all I can do is smile and think of the possibilities. I completely forget about possible and I am drawn to risking going down the road of “impossible”. This has to be right because I like the person that I am when this is the path that I am on. Wrong or right I am willing to try it anyways…doesn’t that count for something?