What if you
Could wish me away
What if you
Spoke those words today

I wonder if you’d miss me
When I’m gone
It’s come to this, release me
I’ll leave before the dawn

But for tonight
I’ll stay here with you
Yes, for tonight
I’ll lay here with you

But when the sun
Hits your eyes
Through your window
There’ll be nothing you can do

What if you
Could hear this song
What if I
Felt like I belong

I might not be leaving
Oh so soon
Began the night believing
I loved you in the moonlight

So, for tonight
I’ll stay here with you
Yes, for tonight
I’ll lay here with you

But when the sun
Hits your eyes
Through your window
There’ll be nothing you can do

I could’ve treated you better
Better than this
Well, I’m gone, this song’s your letter
Can’t stay in one place

So, for tonight
I’ll stay here with you
Yes, for tonight
I’ll lay here with you

But when the sun
Hits your eyes
Through your window
There’ll be nothing you can do

I see you in my dreams and hear you in my thoughts. I want you to be here with me. I miss the way you smell,the way you laughed,the sound of your voice. Everyday I think about you and wish you were here. I know that you can’t be though. So, I will continue to live my life as if you were here. I will remember the things that you taught me and the things that you wanted for me. I will remember the stength that you had through the hard times and somehow find that same strength inside of me. I will do my best to make you proud of me. I am so proud to have had you for my daddy for seventeen years of my life. I will always love you,daddy.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves.”
– 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

I want to love and I want to be loved. I want to love unconditionally and I want to be loved unconditionally. I want to forget as easily as I forgive. I want it to be easy to love me and not easy to hate me. I want to see the good in others and I want them to see the good in me. I want to trust people and not fear them. I want to love the unloved and not just the lovable. I want to smile more than I frown. I want to be the reason that others smile and not the reason they cry. I want to have a beautiful heart and not a selfish one. I want to be a women of the Lord.

This is where I feel like I hear you the most. I feel safe and in your arms when I am here. Nothing or no one can bother me when I am here with you. The way the air smells,the sound of the ocean,the warm sand on my feet and the cool but warm air around me all reminds me of you. I can hear you whisper your sweet words in my ear and I can feel your loving arms wrap around me when the wind blows. I need you now Lord. Be close to me in my saddness. Tell me that everything will be ok. Never leave me alone.

Why is it that we pay so much attention to the “bad” guys who treat us like crap but ignore the “good” guys who treat us like princesses?

I found myself asking this question today. I get so upset when a guy treats me horribly but I continue to let him treat me that way. But I tend to,maybe not ignore,but not pay as much attention to the nice guy who would never hurt me. Is it because I know that he will always be there? Maybe it’s because I feel like I need to be more to keep the bad guys attention but the nice guy will always love me the way that I am.

It’s how a treat God sometimes. I tend to ignore him sometimes because I know that He will never leave me and his love for me will never change. So,if I just don’t feel like acting like I should I will just ignore God and do whatever I want to do. But at the end of the day I will always end up in the arms of God. He will always be the one who I run to and am drawn to. Same with the guy. I will always end up with the good guy.

I wish that I would stop paying attention to the bad guys all together. I either just want to “help” them or maybe for some odd reason they just seem to interest me. Either way they are unhealthy. God wants me to be treated like a princess so why not wait for the good guy that I know He will send me one day.

Just a thought…

How Do I Love Thee?
poem by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.

I love thee to the level of everyday’s
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.

I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

Sometimes,I have no idea where my life is going. What do I want? What does God want? Why won’t He tell me what he wants? Lately I have really been struggling with the death of my dad. I miss having a daddy who takes care of me. I miss sitting in his lap. Without him I feel like I have to be that much tougher. I have to make sure no body takes advantage of me or walks all over me. I feel like I have no father to lead me. I know that I will always have God but a part of me will always be missing. Everyday is a new day with new challenges. I will fall,I will make mistakes,and sometimes I will give up. But I will get up again and keep going. Blessings are sent to us everyday we just have to see the world through Gods eyes. This is the life that God has chosen for me and blessed me with…this is my journey

Sunday some of My Closest friends left to go on a mission trip for 11 months. Chad and Leslie Jowers. It was a very hard goodbye that I did not expect. Things don’t effect me until the last minute so I was totally not expecting the emotions.

I met Chad and Leslie a year ago when they started helping out in the youth group. They became close friends fast. I have a lot of good memories with both of them and I cannot wait to see them again. I am sad that they had to leave but very excited for them. It’s hard when you have to say goodbye but this is what god calls us to do. To go out and spread the word. I cannot wait until God sends me.

Chad and Leslie I pray for you everyday and I love you both so much! Be safe!

Daddy’s little girl paints the world with her magic wand
Daddy’s little child breathes new life to the morning time for me
Though we’re apart, her thoughts follow me
When I come home, she smiles with the dawn
she smiles, and she radiates the glow around her halo
When she plays, she smiles
On a summer day, she smiles
A new day, she smiles

Daddy’s little girl ties a ribbon around my heart
Daddy’s little child waves goodbye to the ocean tide that sweeps me
Though we’re apart, she’s a part of me

she smiles with the dawn
she smiles and she radiates the glow around her halo
When she plays, she smiles
On a summer day, she smiles
A new day, she smiles

When I come home, she smiles with the dawn
she smiles and she radiates the glow around her halo
When she plays, she smiles
On a summer day, she smiles
A new day, she smiles

When the days have gone grey,
Nothing’s wrong when she smiles